{"id":2011,"date":"2025-03-01T15:51:50","date_gmt":"2025-03-01T19:51:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/touchingheadev.wpenginepowered.com\/dayton\/?p=2011"},"modified":"2025-03-04T16:10:48","modified_gmt":"2025-03-04T20:10:48","slug":"climbing-the-mountain","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/touchinghearts.com\/dayton\/blog\/climbing-the-mountain\/","title":{"rendered":"Climbing the Mountain"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\n
\n

By Marie Stanfill, Certified End-of-Life Doula<\/b><\/p>\n

I have spent many days sitting beside those nearing the end of their life\u2019s journey\u2014holding their hands, listening to their loved ones share memories through tears, and creating a safe, gentle space to honor who they were and who they are becoming.<\/span><\/p>\n

Throughout my career, I have encountered so many amazing individuals. Yet, the majority of my clients have been those whose illnesses have robbed them of the ability to share their stories with me. <\/span>Dementia and Alzheimer’s have often left me wondering\u2014what are they truly thinking, feeling, and experiencing?<\/b> Are they afraid? Do they know their journey is coming to an end?<\/span><\/p>\n

While this has been my typical experience, my most recent client was something completely different.<\/span><\/p>\n

He was aware.<\/span><\/p>\n

Fully able to communicate what he was feeling, thinking, and experiencing.<\/b><\/p>\n

From the very first session\u2014within the first five minutes, actually\u2014I knew this interaction would stay with me forever.<\/span><\/p>\n

I sat beside him as he reclined in his chair. He looked at me and said, <\/span>\u201cSo, you\u2019re an end-of-life doula, huh? Well, I have a test for you.\u201d<\/b><\/p>\n

\u201cOkay, shoot!\u201d<\/b> I replied.<\/span><\/p>\n

After a brief silence, he said, <\/span>\u201cI am dying.\u201d<\/b><\/p>\n

For most, this bold and profound statement might have been unsettling. Many would fumble for the right words\u2014searching for reassurance or comfort. But I could tell from the way he stated his truth that he wasn\u2019t looking for reassurance. <\/span>He was looking for confirmation.<\/b><\/p>\n

\u201cYes, you are,\u201d<\/b> I replied.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cFINALLY! Someone finally gets it!!!\u201d<\/b> he exclaimed.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve been telling my friends that I\u2019m dying, and they always respond with, \u2018We all are\u2014little by little, every day.\u2019 But for me, I am actually dying.\u201d<\/b><\/p>\n

In that moment, it became so clear to me: <\/span>More than anything, we all just want our truth to be acknowledged.<\/b> We want someone to look at our experience and say, <\/span>Yes, I see you. I hear you. This is real.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

And it also struck me how <\/span>deeply afraid we are of accepting the only guarantee in life\u2014death.<\/b><\/p>\n

But <\/span>he<\/b> wasn\u2019t afraid.<\/span><\/p>\n

This client was one of the first people I had encountered who truly welcomed the idea of death. A retired philosophy professor, his thoughts on life and what comes after were nothing short of incredible.<\/span><\/p>\n

During our second session, we discussed the afterlife. He asked me, <\/span>\u201cDo you think we create our own afterlife experience while we\u2019re alive? Is it shaped by our imagination?\u201d<\/b><\/p>\n

Rather than answering, I asked him what he thought. If he believed that was true, <\/span>what would his afterlife look like?<\/b><\/p>\n

He smiled and said, <\/span>\u201cI see death as climbing a mountain, not going down one. Once I reach the top, I\u2019ll see beautiful valleys and streams. I\u2019ll be so high I can touch the clouds and watch the birds flying free.\u201d<\/b><\/p>\n

What a breathtaking concept\u2014to <\/span>create your own heaven.<\/b><\/p>\n

There is no greater form of autonomy than that. The ability to <\/span>envision our destination, even as we face death, is a gift.<\/b><\/p>\n

As his journey progressed, I began gauging where he felt he was in his climb. Each session, I\u2019d ask, <\/span>\u201cWhere are you on your mountain today?\u201d<\/b><\/p>\n

The morning he passed, his home health aide and I sat beside him. Though he was no longer responsive, I leaned in and asked, <\/span>\u201cAre you at the top of your mountain?\u201d<\/b><\/p>\n

To our astonishment, he opened his eyes, raised his brows, and gave a slight nod.<\/span><\/p>\n

He knew.<\/b><\/p>\n

He knew his time here was coming to an end, and with that confirmation, I held his hand and thanked him.<\/span><\/p>\n

Thank you for allowing me to be of service.<\/b>
\n<\/b>Thank you for sharing your wisdom.<\/b>
\n<\/b>Thank you for letting me hold space for you.<\/b><\/p>\n

Two or three hours later, I received the call that he had passed. While I was deeply saddened, I was also <\/span>overwhelmed with gratitude.<\/b><\/p>\n

Grateful for the opportunity to sit with such a profound soul.<\/span>
\n<\/span>Grateful for the conversations we had.<\/span>
\n<\/span>Grateful for the love he left behind in his children, grandchildren, and his beloved wife.<\/span><\/p>\n

So here\u2019s to you, sir!<\/span><\/p>\n

As you take your final earthly turn in the batter\u2019s box, hitting a <\/span>walk-off home run, rounding third, and heading for home<\/b>\u2014may you reach the top of your mountain and see all the beauty you imagined.<\/span><\/p>\n

Rest in peace.<\/b><\/p>\n

Honoring Autonomy in End-of-Life Care<\/b><\/h2>\n

This experience reinforced the importance of <\/span>autonomy in death<\/b>\u2014the ability to <\/span>be seen, heard, and validated<\/b> in our final moments.<\/span><\/p>\n

At <\/span>Touching Hearts at Home of Dayton<\/b>, we believe that <\/span>everyone deserves compassionate, dignified care at the end of life.<\/b> While we cannot change the outcome, we can <\/span>ensure that no one has to walk that path alone.<\/b><\/p>\n

Our caregivers provide:<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2705 <\/span>Compassionate companionship<\/b> \u2013 Someone to sit, listen, and hold space.<\/span>
\n<\/span>\u2705 <\/span>Dignified support<\/b> \u2013 Assisting with daily needs while honoring personal wishes.<\/span>
\n<\/span>\u2705 <\/span>Respite for families<\/b> \u2013 Allowing loved ones to focus on <\/span>being present, rather than just caregiving.<\/b><\/p>\n

If you or a loved one needs <\/span>compassionate end-of-life care<\/b>,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n <\/div>\n<\/section>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":11,"featured_media":1972,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2011","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nClimbing The Mountain | Touching Hearts at Home<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Heartbeat Highlights | End-of-life doula Marie Stanfill shares a story on embracing death with peace and autonomy. Touching Hearts at Home offers compassionate care.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/touchinghearts.com\/dayton\/blog\/climbing-the-mountain\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Climbing The Mountain | Touching Hearts at Home\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Heartbeat Highlights | End-of-life doula Marie Stanfill shares a story on embracing death with peace and autonomy. Touching Hearts at Home offers compassionate care.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/touchinghearts.com\/dayton\/blog\/climbing-the-mountain\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Touching Hearts at Home of Dayton & Springfield, OH\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2025-03-01T19:51:50+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2025-03-04T20:10:48+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/touchinghearts.com\/dayton\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/47\/2025\/01\/1-e1741118724862.png\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"600\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"600\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/png\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"choicelocal\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"choicelocal\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"1 minute\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/touchinghearts.com\/dayton\/blog\/climbing-the-mountain\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/touchinghearts.com\/dayton\/blog\/climbing-the-mountain\/\",\"name\":\"Climbing The Mountain | Touching Hearts at Home\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/touchinghearts.com\/dayton\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/touchinghearts.com\/dayton\/blog\/climbing-the-mountain\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/touchinghearts.com\/dayton\/blog\/climbing-the-mountain\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/touchinghearts.com\/dayton\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/47\/2025\/01\/1-e1741118724862.png?wsr\",\"datePublished\":\"2025-03-01T19:51:50+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2025-03-04T20:10:48+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/touchinghearts.com\/dayton\/#\/schema\/person\/1da9acac802c33845dc22842afdb3479\"},\"description\":\"Heartbeat Highlights | End-of-life doula Marie Stanfill shares a story on embracing death with peace and autonomy. Touching Hearts at Home offers compassionate care.\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/touchinghearts.com\/dayton\/blog\/climbing-the-mountain\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/touchinghearts.com\/dayton\/blog\/climbing-the-mountain\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/touchinghearts.com\/dayton\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/47\/2025\/01\/1-e1741118724862.png?wsr\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/touchinghearts.com\/dayton\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/47\/2025\/01\/1-e1741118724862.png?wsr\",\"width\":600,\"height\":600,\"caption\":\"Marie Stanfill\"},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/touchinghearts.com\/dayton\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/touchinghearts.com\/dayton\/\",\"name\":\"Touching Hearts at Home of Dayton & Springfield, OH\",\"description\":\"We value the people we serve, and those who serve them.\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/touchinghearts.com\/dayton\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/touchinghearts.com\/dayton\/#\/schema\/person\/1da9acac802c33845dc22842afdb3479\",\"name\":\"choicelocal\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/touchinghearts.com\/dayton\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/cce2bd83d146524ba6b0f6d24eef9290fcd000a3f108912bf9be67c260502528?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/cce2bd83d146524ba6b0f6d24eef9290fcd000a3f108912bf9be67c260502528?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"choicelocal\"},\"url\":\"https:\/\/touchinghearts.com\/dayton\/blog\/author\/choicelocal\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Climbing The Mountain | Touching Hearts at Home","description":"Heartbeat Highlights | End-of-life doula Marie Stanfill shares a story on embracing death with peace and autonomy. Touching Hearts at Home offers compassionate care.","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/touchinghearts.com\/dayton\/blog\/climbing-the-mountain\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Climbing The Mountain | Touching Hearts at Home","og_description":"Heartbeat Highlights | End-of-life doula Marie Stanfill shares a story on embracing death with peace and autonomy. Touching Hearts at Home offers compassionate care.","og_url":"https:\/\/touchinghearts.com\/dayton\/blog\/climbing-the-mountain\/","og_site_name":"Touching Hearts at Home of Dayton & Springfield, OH","article_published_time":"2025-03-01T19:51:50+00:00","article_modified_time":"2025-03-04T20:10:48+00:00","og_image":[{"width":600,"height":600,"url":"https:\/\/touchinghearts.com\/dayton\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/47\/2025\/01\/1-e1741118724862.png","type":"image\/png"}],"author":"choicelocal","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"choicelocal","Est. reading time":"1 minute"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/touchinghearts.com\/dayton\/blog\/climbing-the-mountain\/","url":"https:\/\/touchinghearts.com\/dayton\/blog\/climbing-the-mountain\/","name":"Climbing The Mountain | Touching Hearts at Home","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/touchinghearts.com\/dayton\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/touchinghearts.com\/dayton\/blog\/climbing-the-mountain\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/touchinghearts.com\/dayton\/blog\/climbing-the-mountain\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/touchinghearts.com\/dayton\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/47\/2025\/01\/1-e1741118724862.png?wsr","datePublished":"2025-03-01T19:51:50+00:00","dateModified":"2025-03-04T20:10:48+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/touchinghearts.com\/dayton\/#\/schema\/person\/1da9acac802c33845dc22842afdb3479"},"description":"Heartbeat Highlights | End-of-life doula Marie Stanfill shares a story on embracing death with peace and autonomy. Touching Hearts at Home offers compassionate care.","inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/touchinghearts.com\/dayton\/blog\/climbing-the-mountain\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/touchinghearts.com\/dayton\/blog\/climbing-the-mountain\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/touchinghearts.com\/dayton\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/47\/2025\/01\/1-e1741118724862.png?wsr","contentUrl":"https:\/\/touchinghearts.com\/dayton\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/47\/2025\/01\/1-e1741118724862.png?wsr","width":600,"height":600,"caption":"Marie Stanfill"},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/touchinghearts.com\/dayton\/#website","url":"https:\/\/touchinghearts.com\/dayton\/","name":"Touching Hearts at Home of Dayton & Springfield, OH","description":"We value the people we serve, and those who serve them.","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/touchinghearts.com\/dayton\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/touchinghearts.com\/dayton\/#\/schema\/person\/1da9acac802c33845dc22842afdb3479","name":"choicelocal","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/touchinghearts.com\/dayton\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/cce2bd83d146524ba6b0f6d24eef9290fcd000a3f108912bf9be67c260502528?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/cce2bd83d146524ba6b0f6d24eef9290fcd000a3f108912bf9be67c260502528?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"choicelocal"},"url":"https:\/\/touchinghearts.com\/dayton\/blog\/author\/choicelocal\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/touchinghearts.com\/dayton\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2011","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/touchinghearts.com\/dayton\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/touchinghearts.com\/dayton\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/touchinghearts.com\/dayton\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/11"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/touchinghearts.com\/dayton\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2011"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/touchinghearts.com\/dayton\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2011\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/touchinghearts.com\/dayton\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1972"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/touchinghearts.com\/dayton\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2011"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/touchinghearts.com\/dayton\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2011"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/touchinghearts.com\/dayton\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2011"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}