No one likes watching their parents getting older. Your mom’s health has changed for one reason or another. Her doctor’s recommended several changes to help her stay as active as possible. She needs to make sure she’s doing everything she can to stay healthy.
How do you help her prepare for the lifestyle changes that are requested? It’s time to make a plan to help everyone understand their role in your mom’s care plan.
If your mom doesn’t have a will or hasn’t filled out an advance directive, it’s time to talk about this. She should see an elder law attorney and make these arrangements. Doctors need to know what she wants regarding decisions like end-of-life care, feeding tubes, intubation, etc.
She also wants to talk about powers of attorney directives for her financial and medical decisions. If she can’t speak for herself, she needs to name someone to make these decisions for her.
Finally, see if she has listed you and her other children on medical HIPAA forms. Her doctor cannot talk to you if she hasn’t granted permission for you to discuss her medical records.
If something happens and your mom’s mobility changes, how safe is her home? Does she have a lot of stairs that may be too hard for her to manage without help? Would she want to live on her main level or downsize and move to a one-level home?
Does she have a bathroom that she could manage if she needed a walker or wheelchair? If she has an older claw-foot tub, that may be impossible for her to get in and out of without someone’s assistance.
You want to be the one helping your mom each day, but you have a job. You still have children at home, and you have pets that can’t be left alone all day. You have to look at your own household responsibilities and work duties before becoming your mom’s caregiver. Make sure you’re leaving time for everything you have to get done.
Spend as much time as you want with your mom, but you also need to make sure you’re taking breaks. When you have something you have to do or are feeling overwhelmed, step away and let a senior care aide take over. You can’t lose track of your mental health as your mom declines. It’s tough, but a senior care aide is there to support you through respite care services.
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