How To Cope When Your Senior Loved One With Dementia Doesn’t Know You Anymore


When you have a senior parent with Alzheimer’s, you tick off the milestones of the progression of the disease with dread. You note the first time they get lost going around the block, and the first time they can’t identify a family member in a photo. But the first time your senior parent asks you who you are to them or calls you a niece instead of a daughter, it’s like a knife in your heart. And it will start happening more and more.

Your senior parent will have good days where they are lucid and know who you are but more and more often your senior parent won’t be sure of what your relationship is. There’s a primal sorrow that comes with realizing that your parent doesn’t know you. It’s ok to feel sad. It’s ok to feel anxious. It’s ok to feel unsure of what comes next. You will cycle through all of those emotions and more. Some ways that you can cope with the overwhelming emotions of realizing your parent doesn’t know you anymore are:

Journal It Out

Companion Care at Home in Scarsdale NY
Companion Care at Home in Scarsdale NY

Keeping a journal is a great way to process your emotions. If you don’t like sharing your feelings and you prefer to keep them private writing in a journal that no one else will see will let you process those emotions without having to make yourself vulnerable. Buy yourself a notebook and write it all out. Get those emotions out of your heart and head and onto the page so you can work through them. Don’t let those emotions steal any of the time that you have left where your parent does know you.

Join A Support Group

Having a senior parent that has Alzheimer’s is difficult. It can help to talk to other people who are going through the same rollercoaster of emotions that you are going through. Talking to other people who are also going through this can give you a safe outlet where you can express your feelings without feeling judged or feeling like your reactions aren’t valid.

Take Videos On Good Days

On the lucid days when your senior parent does know you and seems like their old self take lots of videos. If your senior parent has a companion care at home provider ask the companion care at home provider to take videos too. Hearing and seeing your senior loved one lucid and oriented and knowing who you are will help you cope on the days when your senior parent is disconnected and lost inside their own world.

Remind Your Parent Who You Are

Make it a habit to start introducing yourself to your senior parent when you see them. If they don’t remember who you are they will appreciate not having to ask who you are. If they do remember you then it help them remember you longer if you reinforce that knowledge every time you see them.

If you are considering companion care at home in Scarsdale, NY, for an aging loved one, please contact the caring staff at Touching Hearts At Home of NYC today at 212-201-6139.

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