Blog > How Do You Address the “I Want to Get Home” Demands of Dementia?

How Do You Address the "I Want to Get Home" Demands of Dementia?

Any time a family member with dementia says “I want to go home,” it’s frustrating. Nothing you do seems to appease that need to go home. Your dad could be at home and still say it. You can’t correct him. You can’t argue or show him that the statement upsets you. How are you supposed to address this common statement?

First, Understand What that Statement Means

When your dad says “I want to go home,” it doesn’t really mean home as you’re thinking of it. It could be a time that’s most comforting, a location where he felt happy and at peace or a person who makes him feel whole.

You have to move past thinking of “home” as a place. It’s time to do some detective work. Listen to the things your dad says. When he’s talking about being at home, has it followed him remembering the times he had with parents, siblings, friends, or spouses who are no longer alive? Has he just finished telling you about his favorite childhood meal?

Second, Learn to Redirect His Thoughts

When he starts saying he wants to be home, ask him about home. Offer leading questions. If his idea of home is his late wife, ask him how they met? Did they go out to dinner? What did they have? What drew him to her. If it’s a childhood meal, ask him how often he had it and what they’d do or talk about during the meal.

He may remember you as a child. If this happens, talk about your favorite memories and see what he chips in. You could talk about the time he took you to the beach for the first time. You’ll reminisce about the feel of the sand and water on your toes. He might open up with how scared he was that you’d go too far out of his sight.

If that fails, agree to take him home after he does something. You could say something like you’ll take him home after a good night’s sleep. By the time morning arrives, he won’t remember the discussion.

When dementia reaches a point that the “take me home” statements start in, you need to make sure your parent is supervised. You can’t always be there, but a senior care aide can step in when you have other responsibilities. Your dad gains companionship, and you get a break from the agitation, confusion, and hurt.

Dementia isn’t easy for anyone to witness. Don’t feel that you’re a failure if you need to hire senior care services. It’s one of the best things you and your family can do.