Strategies to encourage your loved ones to accept extra support.

As your loved ones age into older adulthood, there comes a time where they may need some extra support in their home as their mental and physical abilities decline.

For older adults to make the decision to accept help in their home, it can often be difficult to accept help for various reasons ranging from personal pride, dignity, loss of control, finances, or fear of losing independence.

Following are some strategies and suggestions to keep in mind when facing resistance and objections from your loved one about accepting extra support in their home.

Stay Positive and Optimistic: Being empathetic and positive during this process can go a long way in getting your loved one to edge towards accepting help. If they see you as being too aggressive and pushy that may push them away from making any decisions or they may refuse to move forward at all.

Let them be in control: One of the main reasons older adults refuse help is their feeling that they are losing control. Their entire adult lives they have always been in control and never had to “need” help from someone else. By admitting they need help they may feel a significant loss of control and they may fear that feeling of being dependent on someone else, especially an agency or anyone they are not familiar with. Make sure to let them know they are still in control and that accepting some support is just small part of the plan and they will still be in control even if accepting outside assistance.

Provide Options: As previously mentioned, with loss of control being a major factor in your loved one being resistive to support, try giving them multiple options to choose from. By them being able to be involved and in charge of looking at their different options, they will feel more comfortable and in control which may make it easier for them to make the decision to accept help. Options could be to talk to a few different agencies, choosing what services and schedule they would be comfortable to start with, and when they would like to start. Let them know you are there to support their decisions whatever that may be.

Collaborate with others: Depending on the situation, it often helps to know that you are not in this alone. Often when your aging parents or loved ones hear from other people in their support network encouraging them to seek extra support it can go a long ways and have an important impact on their decisions. It is important not to be seen as ganging up or pushy, yet concerned and optimistic of the benefits of accepting some extra support.

Pick your battles carefully:

Remember they are going through a lot of changes and for the first time in their entire adult life they are requiring help from someone in order to maintain their independence and stay in their home. Try to prioritize what is the most important things for them and what might be the easiest things for them to say yes to in the beginning. For instance, if you think they need someone there every day to care for them, maybe get them to accept someone coming there every other day or 3-4 visits per week, then once they build some rapport with the caregiver staff they may be open to adding more hours. Most times it helps to start small and then build up from there.

Explain the importance of outside support to you and your family:

Let your parent or loved one know how accepting outside support is for you and other family members as well. Often times, when older adults see the impact their extra support has on their own loved ones they may be open to accepting outside assistance. Letting your aging loved ones know that by them allowing outside support for daily tasks and services, that you can spend more quality time with them as their family and continue that valuable relationship.

In Summary, it is important to remember that resistance by your aging loved one to accepting outside support is normal and expected.  Remember to be patient, empathetic and optimistic, pick your battles by starting with simple and small goals, give them options and let them feel that they are in control, and make sure they know that their loved ones are always there for them throughout this process.

If you are interested in learning more about how Touching Hearts at Home can support you and your loved one on your care journey, give our team a call at 715-245-1944 or visit us online.

Touching Hearts at Home proudly provides home care services to the following areas, the counties of St. Croix, Pierce, Dunn, Polk, Chippewa, Barron and Eau Claire. We are actively providing Home Health Care, Companionship, Respite and memory care in Hudson, River Falls, New Richmond, Baldwin, Menomonie, and approximately 30 mile radius of these areas.